SAYONARA

Just a repost with a little twist to it.  I cant help it that I had to recycle this one.

Goodbye is a word I so despise saying because I end up depressed and I don’t want to be depressed as it tends to make me do “stupid” things that I would later regret.  It’s like courting disaster, a perfect form of self-destruct aphrodisiac (wow, that rhymes!), ready to implore you with a 5-second bomb explosion delay.

It was a split decision, an overnight dilemma but much like a Deja vu’ in guise.  I didn’t see it coming though but from now on, I’m gonna hold on to this hunch I have every time something verges to go awry.  I am reverting back to my old self, the pessimistic and very irascible “Benito” that I’ve known for eons now who constantly sees the bleakness in life in a cathartic way.  I’m not a quitter but with years of constant frustrations, I guess maybe I am now.  I’ve grown tired already.  I gave up the fight and I am asking questions no more.  I mustered enough courage to hand down that dreaded piece of paper.  I hope those I value the most would come to terms with it.  Now would be the appropriate time to say goodbye to quite a few bad memories that still haunt me even up to this moment.

People say goodbye for all the right and wrong reasons.  Some do to herald the end of an enduring relationship, to veer away from painful experiences, to gain redemption and forgiveness, to find meaning in their lives by seeking greener pastures and career boost and others to attain emotional healing and closure through acceptance of a love one’s demise, but whatever the reasons are, the process of life must go on, free from any contraptions or trepidations.

I still have some regrets though. Sayang.  I was the last ammunition from that ailing arsenal but somehow those irrelevances lately pushed me further and further away.  I could have stayed but I've drifted so far to remember my way back...